So here you have it a glimpse into the best day ever with my forever Valentine!

How do we feel about blogs? Are they making a comeback? Are we like this “old school” form of sharing content? If so, let me know and I will try to be more consistent with it!

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This may come as a surprise to many of you, but from the day Lee and I got engaged I dreaded the planning part. I always dreamt of having a beautiful wedding but, I’m just not a planner. This sort of thing stresses me out. So, the first (and best) thing I did was hire Megan Wappel of Megan Wappel Designs out of Toronto. Hiring her made planning a breeze! I sent her a few screenshots of the vibe I was going for and told her my non negotiables: must be beautiful and it must be a rager. Like I want people to PARTY and dance all night long.  Well, we all danced until 3:30 in the morning so I would she nailed it. We met a few times over zoom, a few times in person, and the rest is history. She absolutely killed it. I seriously could not have done it without her and would recommend her for a wedding or any corporate event you may be planning.. big corporate events are her specialty!

I know this is going to sound cliche, but literally everything about the day was perfect. We live in Saskatchewan and the weather was 23 degrees with no wind… THAT is how perfect it was. I’m going to give you a quick rundown of the day and then I will get into answering the questions you all had!

The celebrations actually started on Friday evening at our rehearsal. For as long as I can remember I’ve always wanted to make the rehearsal an event. I wanted it to be fancy, intimate, and a time for us to connect with our closest family and friends. I knew that the wedding day would be a blur, so having that extra time to soak in the moment during the rehearsal was important to us. The rehearsal was at St. Chad’s and then the dinner was at The Hotel Saskatchewan in the Tea Lounge. We had our family and wedding party for dinner and then our out of town guests joined us for cocktails at Circa 27 lounge. Speaking of out of town guests… Lee went behind my back and surprised me with a few surprise guests… by the pictures you can see just how surprised I was. Kaitlin and I have been friends for a few years now but had never met in person. I wanted her there but she told me a white lie and said she had another wedding that day. I was crushed but understood of course.  When I saw her I couldn’t freaking believe it! The first time we had met in person and it was for our wedding. HOW PERFECT?! Lee also surprised me with a few other special guests, my managers from my agency as well as my friends Erin and her husband Roberto. Roberto is a hairstylist in Vancouver and on the morning of my wedding he gave me the most epic blowout… seriously so special!  I was so shocked by how far these people were willing to travel to celebrate with us and I am so grateful for that.  It was so fun- we ate, drank, and I stayed up later than I likely should have but it was worth it!

Lee and I stayed at the hotel that night. The guys got ready at Lee’s parents house. Lee’s sister, Marlo, is a hair stylist and so she set up a barber station and gave everyone fresh fades… the guys loved it.  I may be bias but they all looked SO handsome! Even though we live together and have a child, we wanted some things to be traditional so we stayed in separate rooms.

I stayed in the Royal Suite with my sister and it was unbelievable!! Lee stayed in another beautiful suite. The next morning, I woke up bright and early went down for coffee, accidentally saw Lee lol- he didn’t see me though thankfully (I think it’s bad luck?!) then the full day of festivities began! Hair and makeup was underway by 9am. I remember feeling excited but also a lot more anxious than I anticipated.  I had lots of my friends pop by even if they weren’t in the wedding party. I wanted the whole day to be full of the people I love so I invited lots to come and have a mimosa with me at the hotel room as we were getting ready. It was a vibe and I loved it!

Our ceremony was at 2:00 pm, but of course we were late but it wasn’t because of me though, I swear. There was an accident on Arcola which caused everyone to be late! Our ceremony was short, sweet, and very personal. Our friend Simon married us which was very special to us. If you have the opportunity I would highly recommend having someone you know or have a special relationship to you as a couple, marry you. It made the ceremony so much better. My dad walked me down the aisle, Lee walked in with Dane, and we wrote our own vows. It was short, sweet, and very us.  No, Simon is not a marriage commissioner, so there was some legal stuff that took place with Brittany McGeough (who is a marriage commissioner) after the ceremony to make our marriage legit! After the ceremony we gathered outside for a brief moment to chat with a few of the guests and then we were off to take photos!

One of my favourite parts of the whole day was the random dance party that took place on the corner of Victoria avenue and Lorne street. Keenan, Lee’s best man always seems to have this boom box with him. So while Lee and I snuck off to do our own photos Keenan rallied our wedding party up and they crashed with the boom box. We stopped what we were doing and had a full on dance party. We didn’t get as many couple photos as we maybe would have but it has to be one of my favourite parts from the day! This is a prime example of how memories and being present are so much more than the staged photos.

After that we stopped by Milu for some fresh rolls… we were all SO hungry! Both Lee and I were much too nervous to eat before the ceremony so food was a priority. Next we stopped at Boston Pizza south which is where Lee set eyes on me for the first time, haha! It was so cute, he sat in the exact chair and everything! It was actually so sweet and so fun- we had a shot and were off to our next destination a friend’s house to borrow his beautiful car for photos as well as a little cruise. Lee and I drove it from his house back to the reception and it was such a nice moment for just the two of us. Thanks so much, Steve!

Once we arrived back at St. Chad’s we ended up having a bit of time before dinner started. I didn’t go into the cocktail hour because for some reason I had it in my head that I shouldn’t. I actually regret not. I forgot for a second that it was my day and I could do whatever I wanted and that was visit with people.  Regardless, it was still really nice to just chill with our wedding party. Our wedding party ended up going around the circle and sharing their favourite memories of each Lee and I, it was very sweet!

Then, it was up to the third floor for dinner! St. Chad’s is a really unique venue! We had our ceremony, cocktail hour, and dance in the chapel part but the dinner was held upstairs on the third floor simply because the chapel was too small.

Another one of my favourite details from the day was our seating chart! We decided last minute to do a tequila wall! Each person had a shot of tequila with a stir stick (custom made by Forrest and Ferro) with their name and table number on it. It really got the party started and was such a fun social thing and really set the tone for a FUN night ahead!

The dinner and speeches were SO much fun! We laughed (a lot), cried, ate, drank, and just had the best time. It went by sooo fast. Just as dinner was ending Lee and I snuck downstairs and had our own first dance before anyone else was there. It was magic. If you’ve been married before, then you would know the day is almost a blur and it is easy to get lost in it. Lee and I both made it point to slow down and take in the moment a few times throughout the day. This was one of them.  Megan our planner then ushered everyone downstairs and we had our official first dance with everyone watching.  We danced with our parents and then never left the dance floor. Seriously, our dance floor was jam packed the entire night! Like I said, my goals was to have our wedding be beautiful but also for it to be a rager and well, it was! Ross, our DJ was the reason for this – he read the crowd perfectly and knew how to keep everyone going. 10/10 recommend him!  Lee and I closed the doors to St. Chad’s at 4:00am. After searching for the key for quite some time… it’s a long story that I won’t get into, but at one point I was sleeping on the floor in my wedding dress waiting for security to come and watch the building because we didn’t think we were going to get the key! But of course, Megan to the rescue! She came at 4am to delivery the key- LOVE YOU MEG!! We then ordered pizza to our hotel room and watched the sun come up from bed. It was seriously P E R F E C T!

Ok, now for the details:

Wedding Planner: Megan Wappel of Megan Wappel Designs – I already told you how unreal she is but I have to tell you again. Hire a planner… even if it’s not Megan I cannot stress how much it was worth the money. Megan handled everything leading up to, as well as on the day!
Venue: St. Chad’s. We got married in the chapel, had our cocktail hour in there as well and then moved upstairs for the dinner. We then came back down for the dance!
Vow books- Etsy
Catering: Walnuts
Cake & Sweet Treats: Queen City Cakes- we were having so much fun that we actually forgot to cut the cake that night!! But, we got dressed in our wedding attire and cut it the next day at our kitchen island lol such a fun memory! We also had ice cream sandwiches as well as cream cheese cake bites… YUM!
Flowers: I LOVE flowers and so a big part of our budget was spent here. I felt if we put a lot into the flowers we wouldn’t spend much on decor in other places and I was right. They were absolutely stunning. The arch truly took my breath away when I saw it!
Party Favours– Heart and Soul Candle CO. I was VERY particular on what kind of party favours I wanted. I DID NOT want something that my guests would not use. It had to be something that wasn’t just going to find it’s way to the garbage. It was something I knew people would love or nothing at all. I came up with the idea to make a custom wedding scent. I love that scent is so closely tied to memory. So, we were lucky enough to partner with Heart and Soul to create our very own wedding scent. Each guest got a gorgeous candle to take home that when they light it, it will bring back to memories from our wedding. Also, once the candle is burnt the vessel is actually a shot glass! This was one of my favourite details from the day.
Seating Chart- this tequila wall came from a random IG post I found a few days before the wedding… leave it to Megan and her team to pull it together like we had been planning it for months!

Bridesmaids Dress: I was super chill about this- I gave them a colour palette I wanted them to stick to and they all bought their own! I love how they turned out!
Flower Girl Dress: Crocus & Ivy
DJ- Ross Bearman– I am telling you the BEST in the business. He had one of the most stressful jobs of the day because all I really cared about was people dancing with me and so to get people on the dance floor you need someone who knows the music to do that. HE KILLED IT! The d floor was packed until 3am… mission accomplished!

Wedding Dresses: Yes… I had three dresses. Necessary? Absolutely not! Did I feel like a real life princess in all three? Yes!
Rehearsal Dress: Berta from NWLA
Ceremony Dress: Berta Privee from NWLA
Reception Dress: Pronovias from NWL

Something new: shoes, bag, dress… lol the list goes on
Something Borrowed + Blue + Old: my grandmother’s ring.

Lee’s Suit- Colin O’brians
Lee’s Shoes- Christian Louboutin- I surprised him with the shoes on the morning of the wedding!

Shoes: Jimmy Choo -splurge FOR SURE but obsessed.
Bag: Jimmy Choo– also a splurge but I have actually used it quite a few times so I don’t feel quite so bad about it.
Earrings: Oneiro… a local company that I LOVE! I wear Oneiro almost daily so why not on my big day?!
Hair- Jackie Shulko
Extensions: Philocaly Hair 
Make-Up: Jessica Luther- I am sooo particular about my makeup and I was SO thrilled with how she made me look. I wanted to look like a well rested/best version of myself and I think we achieved that!
Nails: Stephanie from 10 Tiny Canvases
Bridesmaids Gift- Custom Air Force Ones made by Customs By Ang
Groomsmens Gift- Vegan Leather Duffle Bags with their names on them!

Photography: Julia & Lucas- I seriously cannot say enough good things! Not only are they SO talented- they are the most genuine and kind people!
Videography: Munz Media- we just got our video back and it is so good! Stop back another time and I will share it here!

If you’re still with me… wow! I think this is the longest blog post in the history of TMS! I tried to give as many details as possible but let me know if you have any questions and I’ll try to help!

The post Our Wedding appeared first on Teach Me Style - A style, beauty and life blog..

Our sweet baby was diagnosed with a rare birth defect called Gastroschisis.  So rare in fact that my document is underlining it telling me it’s a spelling mistake… no, not a mistake.  A harsh reality for first time, scared shitless parents.

If Gastroschisis sounds as foreign to you as it did to us, it is a birth defect of the abdominal wall. The baby’s intestines are found outside of the baby’s body, exiting through a hole beside the belly button. The hole can be small or large and sometimes other organs, such as the stomach and liver, can also be found outside of the baby’s body.  If you have not heard of it, you will likely take to Google, and I want to warn you, it is quite graphic.

Like most traumatic experiences, there are different phases of coping.  The first was complete shock and devastation. How could this be happening? Why us? And of course the guilt. What did I do to cause this? I forgot my prenatal vitamins that one day. That had to be it. I took on too much stress in the beginning and was pushing myself too hard. That also probably added to it.  I had a glass of wine while I was pregnant and didn’t know it. Yup, that was for sure it. For the first few weeks, all I did was run through every scenario and decision I made in those first few months to try to find out how or why this happened. I have since come to the realization, I will never know why our sweet babe has to fight this fight. But, leave it to my mom to say the right thing:

“This baby was waiting up in Heaven for you and Lee. God chose this baby for you two because He knew you could handle this. You two are strong and will give everything and anything for this baby to be healthy”.

And just like that the anger left my body. Now, don’t get me wrong it creeps in every once in a while.  I still have pity parties and feel those “why us” feeling, but when they do I remember those words and they help.  The anger is replaced with hope and a determination to be the strongest version of myself for this baby.

The next stage for me was grief. I had to grieve what I had always dreamed my babies birth would look like. The picture society paints for you is so beautiful. The final push, that precious skin to skin time immediately after, the snuggles and first feedings in the mother baby unit, leaving the mother baby unit with a baby only a few days old, the newborn photo session, and the list goes on.  These are all thing I heard my friends describe as the most beautiful part of birth. Those would not be a reality for us. Immediately after our baby is born, their body (from the chest down) will be put into what looks like a clear plastic bag to protect the organs, and sent off the NICU to prepare for surgery.  Lee will go with baby and I will stay in the mother baby unit to recover. No skin to skin time, no newborn snuggles, no breast feeding, no alone time as a family of three. Wow, I am definitely having a pity party as I am writing this.

Moving onto the third stage. It’s hard to keep up I know. Throughout this whole process, I have learned to practice gratitude even more than ever.  I am grateful I was able to get pregnant and carry this child. Grateful my pregnancy has been good to me. Physically, I have been feeling relatively good. I am grateful they diagnosed the baby at such an early stage so we can be prepared. I am grateful for our healthcare system. The specialist and ultrasound appointments I have every two weeks where we get to see our Bub. Grateful for my niece who was born with a rare heart condition but is not defined by it. She is a true warrior and seeing her reminds me how resilient babies are.  Last, I am beyond grateful to have the best partner I could ask for. Lee has been my rock through this all.  He is constantly researching, asking the questions while I cry those silent tears through nearly every appointment, taking me to the hospital without question when I have the tiniest spot of blood, holding me when I cry, cracking jokes at just the right time, and reassuring me when my mind is spinning and taking me to dark places. I cannot imagine going though this with anyone else.

This blog post is getting longer than I anticipated it would. It is quite frankly turning into a little bit of a mini therapy session and you all just happened to be along for the ride, haha! But before I wrap up, I know you likely have a lot of questions around our specific case. Although we won’t know exactly know how severe it is until baby is born, we do know that our baby has Gastroschisis not Omphalocele which are commonly mistaken for each other. Our babies hole is very small and to the right of their belly button and as of right now only the small intestines are out.  Once the baby is born they will asses the health of the bowels and make a more solid plan from there. But from the research we have done and the conversations we’ve had with our doctors, this is how we think it will go…I know it won’t be exactly like this but it’s nice to have some kind of idea.

-baby will be born naturally or via c-section. We are not sure, they say natural is best but like ANY birth C section is always a possibility.
– baby will be wrapped up to protect exposed organs and taken to NICU for assessment. The health of the bowels is really important. Because they have been floating around in amniotic fluid, they aren’t protected and can often times be damaged. Blockages can occur, swelling, and parts can be dead which means sections may have to be removed.   From what I understand, once the bowels are healthy and working, they will go for surgery to have everything put inside.
– once baby is recovered from surgery they will then work on feeding. Because the intestines have been damaged, they often take quite some time to start working properly and this is mainly what will determine the length of time spent in NICU. Some babies are recovered and home within 14 days, others 9 months, and some are in and out of hospital their whole lives.

For us, the scariest part is the unknown.  But, I am trying to focus on what we do know and that is the specialists, surgeons, nurses, Lee, and I are going to do everything in our power to get this baby healthy! They say it takes a village to raise a child and for us that is going to be one hell of a village!

So, when you see me posting on Instagram about snap onesies instead of zippers, it’s not because I’m a “rookie mom who will soon learn”, it’s because our baby will likely not get to wear clothes for the first few week maybe even months of their life.  If they do, they will have to be buttons so the cords (I’m sure I will learn the medical term for these real soon) can go through.  And yes, I am a super keen new mom for packing my hospital bag at 27 weeks, but these babies come notoriously early.  In fact my doctor will induce me immediately if he sees something that he isn’t comfortable with. So, although I share a lot on Instagram and with this community, I don’t share everything right away,  sometimes I need time to process things and this was one of those things.

I have put off writing this blog post for 15 weeks to be exact.  I feel angry and upset that I have to write this. Well, I suppose I don’t have to, but this is our reality and one way to cope will be to connect with others who may have had the same reality as us.  Our specialist has informed us that there are on average three Gastro babies born each year in Regina and surrounding area.  So, I am hoping that through this community I will find other Gastro baby mama’s and we can connect and support each other. Having a baby diagnosed with a rare birth defect is hard, but not knowing anyone who has gone through the same thing makes it even harder. It can be extremely lonely at the best of times but even harder in the middle of a pandemic. If you or someone you know is going through this, please reach out. We would love to connect with you.

And last, I have come to realize that having a healthy baby is more rare than you might think.  SO many things have to go right in order to have a healthy baby… those are the true miracles. Babies who are born with some sort of defect or health setback, those are called warriors.

My sweet Bub, you are only 27 weeks old yet you are already such a fighter. I am so proud of you.

The post Our Little Warrior appeared first on Teach Me Style - A style, beauty and life blog..