Fast forward 7.5 months of me getting no more than 3 hours of sleep at a time and I finally broke. Dane was 6 months adjusted. I remember it vividly. I looked at Lee and said “that’s it, I’m sleep training starting NOW, I can’t take this”. It was midnight and I had been in and out of Dane’s room easily 12 times already.  He was only calm when he was at breast. He was suckling as that was it. Not getting milk, just needing my boob to fall asleep and the second I would put him down he would wake. If I was lucky, and I snuck out without him waking, the second he woke up and I wasn’t there, he cried out for me because my boob was what he needed to soothe himself back to sleep.

I clearly let it get too far. I don’t recommend starting sleep training on a whim in the middle of the night… but hey, we made it through and Dane is a pretty good sleeper now. I say on a whim but really I had been reading, asking questions, and contemplating it for about a good month. Although it was started unconventionally it the middle of the night, I did feel like I had a good handle on what I wanted to do.

Okay, let’s get to the nitty gritty, I know you want to know what program I followed and all the exact details.  I will share BUT remember that you know your baby best and I don’t believe there is one program that fits all. So make sure you do the reading, ask your friends who have done it, and most importantly listen to your mama heart.

Lee and I didn’t purchase any program, we just got advice from a good friend who has sleep trained 2 of her kids. We have similar personalities and parenting styles so I knew it was a good fit. Of course, we modified it to our liking.

The first thing we did was start with bedtime sleep. This meant setting a bedtime routine:

OUR SLEEEP TRAINING BEDTIME ROUTINE (aprox. 1/2 hour)

-feed
-bath
– lotion + get dressed + in sleep sack
– story, songs, and a little cuddle
– lamp off, sound machine on
– put him in his crib with his soother

*as SOON as I noticed him showing any signs of dozing off I put him to bed awake. I think this is the most important thing in the beginning. I did this consistently for about 2 months. Now that that it’s been a few months, there are nights I’m enjoying the cuddles… hell I NEED the cuddles after a hard day, and he falls asleep in my arms.  It doesn’t ruin all you did. Trust me. It fills my soul and his… heck rules are meant to be broken aren’t they?!**

**Some sleep training programs won’t allow soothers, lovies, or for you to pick them up and feed them in the night. I wasn’t about that. Dane goes to bed with a soother and still wakes up once or twice a night to feed and I am okay with this.  My goal in sleep training was for him to learn how to put himself to sleep. So, I do go to him in the night and feed him (depending on how many times he wakes) but I ALWAYS put him down awake.**

Obviously, as soon as I put him down he would start to cry.  Not because he was hungry or in danger… because he thought he needed me to go to sleep. The second he started to cry, I would start my stopwatch.  Here is where things differ a lot for people. If  you are going to let them cry, which is the method we choose, you need to decide on a length of time YOU are comfortable with before you go in. We decided on 10 minutes. Trust me, it felt like an ETERNITY but I do believe it worked quicker (basically 1 night) because we went with a longer cry time.  In my research, I learned that their crying pattern will be similar to a rollercoaster. It will be quiet, then become more intense, and will slowly go down with little peaks on the way down.  On the way “down”, when you hear them almost hum to themselves, but it’s still a cry… that is them teaching themselves to self sooth.  The method we followed suggested that every time he was quiet for 1 minute or longer, you restart the 10 minutes.  I’m not going to lie, the first night was extremely hard and very emotional. He cried on and off again for about 45 minutes. I caved after that, went in and fed him because I figured he worked up an appetite and I had been crying the whole time so we both just needed a cuddle. He fed, I put him down awake, he cried for maybe 30 seconds  and slept until 5 am. I went in again after letting  him cry for 10 minutes at 5 am. I fed him put him down awake (he didn’t cry this time) and he slept until 8am. Is this what the program told me to do? No.But it worked for us.  The next night he cried for 7 minutes and was out. He woke up at 5 am for a feed and was down until 7! And that has been our pattern basically ever since!

Does he sleep through the night? No. Could he if I was a little more strict with the sleep training? Probably. But I am okay with it. Right now he generally goes down around 6:30 or 7pm. Wakes around 11 and I feed him (this is not every night, just on occasion) Then goes down again until 4 or 5 am. I feed him and then he is down until 7 or 7:30. I am not a big schedule girl. If he sleeps until 8 I don’t wake him. But I always put him back down if he is awake before 6 am. This is just me.  A lot of people, especially when they go back to work, are on a schedule and I know this works for people. We will likely get there, but for now we aren’t. Now, of course there are mornings he is up earlier and nights he wakes more or less.  Sleep is not linear that is for sure. There are ups and downs and JUST when you think you have it figured out, they go through a sleep regression or a leap or teething lol there is always something- but hey, that’s parenthood I suppose!

OUR CURRENT BEDTIME ROUTINE

• dinner
• bathtime
• lotion + get dressed + in sleep sack
•  story, songs, and a little cuddle and I breastfeed …  sometimes we snuggle until he falls asleep but not too often.
• lamp off, sound machine on
• put him in his crib with his soother.

*I have become a little more relaxed. He RARELY ever cries when we put him down. So, if he cries when I put him down we will sometimes go in and give him his soother if he looses it or rub his back.

Okay… I know what you’re waiting for, NAPS!  What about the naps?!   This is a whole beast of it’s own. We definitely struggled a lot longer with these but for the most part we are on track now!!  I will post a whole separate post about this… I am already starting to write it so don’t worry it won’t be long. But, if you are just starting sleep training, I would suggest just starting with bedtime sleep.  Get that sorted then move to naps after. In the meantime, you can start with creating nap habits, like putting them down awake, etc but honestly I would suggest just working on night sleep first!

Now, if you take one thing away from reading this, let it be this: don’t let it get as far as I did. If you don’t want to sleep train, that is 100% you choice and is the best choice for your family. But, if you are not getting sleep and it is effecting your mental health, relationships, and overall health like it was mine ask fo help in whatever form you need it. Maybe that means asking someone you trust to come over so you can go for a walk or go to Winners, or maybe it means sleep training.

Okay, that was super long but I hope you found it helpful! Again, this isn’t a program, there are lots out there to try.  This is just MY experience and advice.  Dane is not a perfect sleeper, but who is!? He still wakes once or twice in the night, but does go right back to sleep.  If I was just a little more strict, I know he would stop… but truthfully I enjoy the night feeding not that I can put him down right after without tears. It is so peaceful and quick.  We have had to do a little refresher and when we were in Arizona for a month we basically just free willy nillied it… because life happens!

So, you may be wondering, am I happy we sleep trained? 100%. Not sleeping took a toll on my mental and physical health (you get sick so much easier when you’re sleep deprived), mine and Lee’s relationship, and my work. It truly was taking a toll on us all.

Okay… speaking of, Dane is just waking from his 2 hour nap… yahoooo! Gotta run!!

If I didn’t answer your question or you need clarification don’t hesitate  to drop me a comment in the comment section below!

The post Our Experience With Sleep Training appeared first on Teach Me Style - A style, beauty and life blog..

12 days postpartum and the things I have learned let me tell you! I will get more into that at a later date but for now I thought I would share my postpartum must haves.  So you’re up to date, here’s some info you may need as my postpartum journey isn’t typical, it is not rare that’s for sure but it is different that your average.  I had a c section (loved my experience btw- again, I’ll get more into that later) and our sweet boy, Dane was born with Gastroschisis.  This means he is on quite the journey in the NICU.  He is being fed by tube which means I am exclusively pumping… yes, it is as cumbersome as you may think, but these items have definitely made the journey easier for me. So this list is catered more towards c section pumping mama’s but isn’t exclusive to that.

** Update, I wrote this when I as exclusively pumping… I am now doing a combination of pumping, bottle, and breasts feeding! 

Postpartum Must Haves:

1.) A good pump, obviously. Like I said right now I am exclusively pumping. I am not going to sugar coat it- it is hard. But having a good pump and the accessories to help do make all the difference.  I am exclusively using the Medela In Style MaxFlow Electric Breast Pump and I can say with confidence that I love it. I went with the In Style for a few reasons first is Medela has a great reputation. They use the Medela brand in the NICU so you know it’s good. Second, I love that the In Style is small and compact. It is easy for me to pack up (it actually comes with a small bag that fits everything in it) and take on the go. Third, I really like that it has the option to be battery operated or you can plug it in.  Battery operated is great but I am not the greatest at remembering to charge things, so having a plug in is important especially these days… #babybrain. Last, it works really well and it’s easy to clean because the parts all come apart! Overall, I would rate the Medela In Style MaxFlo a 10/10, highly recommend this pump!

2.) The Medela Easy Expression bustier so you can pump hands free! This is an absolute MUST. Pumping takes a lot of time, way more than I ever imagine.  Sitting with your hands on your boobs for 20-25 minutes every three hour is not fun… and for a multitasker like me, it is impossible. The Medela Easy Expression Bustier has been a lifesaver for me. It allows me to have a bit of a snooze while I pump in the middle of the night, and multi task during the day! I made the mistake of not packing it in my hospital bag and I had my mom deliver it the next day.  The tight fit helps the breast shields suction which I find helps me get more milk! If you don’t have one of these they are an absolute MUST!!

3.) Knix Heavy Flow Period Kit– I am going to be super honest with you, before trying these I really had no idea what all the fuss was about when it came to Knix underwear. I had tried a few pairs before these leakproof underwear and I wasn’t overly impressed. You all know my obsession with the American Eagle undies and I wasn’t about to switch it up… that is until now. My eyes have been opened and my goodness I now get it.  I purchased the Heavy Flow Period Kit after my friend Kyla recommended them and they are life changing. Will I still wear my fave AE undies in my regular life? YES! But for postpartum and period life I will only wear these! And to answer the question you are all wanting to ask? No, you do not have to wear a pad with these! And no, I have not had a single leak! LIFE CHANGING! I started wearing these around day 4 postpartum, I’m not sure if they would work the first few days after but every situation is different!

4.) Frida Mom Disposable Underwear – I wore these for a solid 4 days after giving birth and they are SO comfortable! They are so stretchy and they go up super high over my c section incision.  I would suggest starting with these and then moving to the Knix Heavy Flow Period panties after a few days!

5.) Mother Tucker Compression Leggings– these are next level. I love lulu’s and I love the Amazon dupes I always talk about but when it comes to a c section and supporting your tummy these are everything! They have a compression panel around the stomach and this literally holds everything in. You know when you cough, sneeze, or laugh you have to literally hold your stomach? Well, these leggings do it for you! 12/1o recommend!

6.) Frida Mom Peri Bottle– The peri bottles they give you in the hospital work but they just are not the same, trust me. This bottle is around $20 and well worth it!

I think that’s all for now! As I discover new things I am loving I will share them so make sure you are following me on Instagram – I share quite frequently on there. Am I missing anything? Let me know what your postpartum must haves are in the comments below!

Special thanks to Medela for gifting me the Medela In Style MaxFlow Electric Breast Pump ! And thank YOU for supporting all of the brands I love to work with on Teach Me Style, I couldn’t do it without you!

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